Stop trying to be a mentor

Nearly every candidate I meet with tells me that they want to do more mentoring. I find this curious, but have been reluctant to suggest that it is misguided. This pattern holds true for recent graduates and experienced employees alike — folks seem to believe that mentoring is what good professionals do. But this widespread embrace has turned mentorship into a pursuit that often distracts from creating real value.

The urge to help is admirable. But the obligation to do great work comes first.

I understand the appeal. Mentoring feels generous and suggests that you have wisdom worth sharing. It is also selfless in a way that advancing your own work might not seem to be. In interviews and annual reviews, it is an easy answer — who could argue with wanting to help others grow?

But most people have significant work to do on their own personal development before they can genuinely guide someone else. The time and mental energy spent positioning yourself as a mentor would be better invested in becoming outstanding at your actual job. This is not selfishness — it is the foundation of sustainable contribution.

Excellence in your own role is the prerequisite for having something meaningful to offer others.

Here is what actually creates value:

• Master the fundamentals of your role: You cannot teach what you have not truly learned yourself.

• Develop the expertise that comes only from sustained, difficult work: Most people underestimate how much depth remains in their current role.

• Pursue improvements — not just maintenance: Finding better ways to do essential work creates value that others can experience and build on.

• Help the team deliver better results: Direct your effort toward the areas that raise the quality and impact of team outcomes.

• Demand excellence from others: Hold yourself to a very high standard and expect that others will as well.

The people who have actually influenced my career the most? They were not trying to be mentors at all. They were just really good at their jobs. They caught things others missed. They did not compromise. They set high standards and held themselves, and others, to them.

If you find yourself drawn to developing others, consider becoming a team lead. Management is mentoring with real accountability — you own the outcomes alongside the guidance. The responsibility changes how you approach development because you cannot separate helping someone grow from delivering results together.

Not everyone wants to manage, and that is perfectly reasonable. If formal leadership is not your direction, then channel that energy toward the work directly in front of you. The same principle applies: You cannot guide others effectively until you have built something substantial yourself.

When people focus on their own excellence first, they create a different kind of influence. The teammate who solves problems others cannot figure out changes what the team believes is possible. The person who catches a critical detail others missed changes how carefully people examine their own work. This builds organizations on demonstrated capability rather than well-meaning conversations.

Work is satisfying when you contribute to something that gets stronger because of what you bring to it.

The pursuit of mentoring has become a comfortable alternative to this harder work. But the path of achieving your own excellence is what actually creates lasting value — for your organization and for your career.

Most people have enough to master in their own roles to keep them busy for years. Focus there. Become an expert and then guide others.

If this resonates, check out open roles at Aha! — we are always looking for people who care deeply about what they do.